2008 Woodie Awards
Devil's Advocate
Weekly advice with a devilish twist.
Issue date: 1/30/08Section: Features
Dear Devil's Advocate,
I come from a very strict, Christian family and I grew up in southern Texas. Needless to say, my family doesn't have the most liberal views on sexual orientation, but I, never-the-less, bat for the other team if you know what I mean. I am a normal person in every other respect and comfortable with myself while I am at school, but when I go home I feel like I am lying to everyone by not admitting who I am to my family. At the same time, I am pretty sure my parents would freak out if I told them. So, what do you think is the best way to "come out" to my family?
Sincerely,
Gaylord T. Manchester
Dear Mr. Manchester,
This is a really tough question. There are so many good answers, but the hard part is choosing the best one.
Of course there is the classic method where you bring home your 28-year-old boyfriend who wears jeans, a black leather vest, and sunglasses. Then, immediately upon arrival, latch on to his lips like a leech hungry for blood right in front of your parents. Then you say, "Hey Mom and Dad, this is my friend Andrew. Isn't he cute?" The only downside to this method is that it often results in your mother fainting and your father having a massive stroke. On the upside, though, you and Andrew can have the house to yourself while your parents are in the hospital!
Then there is the old "Dropping Hints" approach. This technique requires careful planning and skillful powers of suggestion. First you always bring up your "new best friend" in conversation. Then you offer to bake them Tiramisu. Then leave a certain inappropriate magazine sticking out from underneath your mattress and ask your mother to make your bed for you. The benefit of this approach is that you never really talk to them about it. The downside to this approach is that you never really talk to them about it.
Or you could be a man and just sit them down and tell them. Talk to them as an adult and tell them how you feel. If they accept it, then that's great. If they throw a fit, then tell them you are still their child and they should accept you for who you are. Eventually they will accept it.
I come from a very strict, Christian family and I grew up in southern Texas. Needless to say, my family doesn't have the most liberal views on sexual orientation, but I, never-the-less, bat for the other team if you know what I mean. I am a normal person in every other respect and comfortable with myself while I am at school, but when I go home I feel like I am lying to everyone by not admitting who I am to my family. At the same time, I am pretty sure my parents would freak out if I told them. So, what do you think is the best way to "come out" to my family?
Sincerely,
Gaylord T. Manchester
Dear Mr. Manchester,
This is a really tough question. There are so many good answers, but the hard part is choosing the best one.
Of course there is the classic method where you bring home your 28-year-old boyfriend who wears jeans, a black leather vest, and sunglasses. Then, immediately upon arrival, latch on to his lips like a leech hungry for blood right in front of your parents. Then you say, "Hey Mom and Dad, this is my friend Andrew. Isn't he cute?" The only downside to this method is that it often results in your mother fainting and your father having a massive stroke. On the upside, though, you and Andrew can have the house to yourself while your parents are in the hospital!
Then there is the old "Dropping Hints" approach. This technique requires careful planning and skillful powers of suggestion. First you always bring up your "new best friend" in conversation. Then you offer to bake them Tiramisu. Then leave a certain inappropriate magazine sticking out from underneath your mattress and ask your mother to make your bed for you. The benefit of this approach is that you never really talk to them about it. The downside to this approach is that you never really talk to them about it.
Or you could be a man and just sit them down and tell them. Talk to them as an adult and tell them how you feel. If they accept it, then that's great. If they throw a fit, then tell them you are still their child and they should accept you for who you are. Eventually they will accept it.
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