2008 Woodie Awards
Devil's Advocate
Weekly advice with a devilish twist
Issue date: 3/5/08 Section: Features
Dear Devil's Advocate,
I went on a date recently with this really fantastic guy and it went really, really well. We went out to dinner and a movie, then we got dessert. He paid for everything and he was funny and charming. We have another date coming up in a couple days and I can't wait. I really like him and I think he really likes me. The only thing is, my dating record hasn't exactly been the greatest. I've gotten hurt by guys that I thought were "the one" several times. How can I tell if this guy is for real or if he is just going to break my heart a month down the road?
Signed,
Skeptical Sarah
Dear Skeptic,
Honestly, you can never know if a guy is going to break your heart or not. That's part of the excitement of dating. You never know if your perfect lover of today will be a perfect stranger tomorrow. The fact is, you are most likely going to have many, many more failed relationships in your life. That sounds depressing, but it's better than being stuck in one unhappy relationship the rest of your life.
With that said, I think you are looking too far ahead. You shouldn't be looking for "the one" at this point in your life. Ninety-nine times out of one hundred, you won't find him. You should just try to find someone who makes you happy and stick with him until he doesn't make you happy anymore. Then move on to the next one. Kind of like eating lollipops. Throw the stick away and move on to the next one.
With each relationship, you will learn something about yourself and about what you like. For example, after my last relationship, I learned that I do not like it when my significant other wears black lipstick, black eyeliner, and sacrifices chickens to appease the demons of the underworld. Come to think of it, I don't know why I got into that relationship in the first place. The point is, the more relationships you have, the more you learn about what you want out of a relationship. So don't wonder if this guy is "for real" or not. Just have fun and try to learn something about yourself.
I went on a date recently with this really fantastic guy and it went really, really well. We went out to dinner and a movie, then we got dessert. He paid for everything and he was funny and charming. We have another date coming up in a couple days and I can't wait. I really like him and I think he really likes me. The only thing is, my dating record hasn't exactly been the greatest. I've gotten hurt by guys that I thought were "the one" several times. How can I tell if this guy is for real or if he is just going to break my heart a month down the road?
Signed,
Skeptical Sarah
Dear Skeptic,
Honestly, you can never know if a guy is going to break your heart or not. That's part of the excitement of dating. You never know if your perfect lover of today will be a perfect stranger tomorrow. The fact is, you are most likely going to have many, many more failed relationships in your life. That sounds depressing, but it's better than being stuck in one unhappy relationship the rest of your life.
With that said, I think you are looking too far ahead. You shouldn't be looking for "the one" at this point in your life. Ninety-nine times out of one hundred, you won't find him. You should just try to find someone who makes you happy and stick with him until he doesn't make you happy anymore. Then move on to the next one. Kind of like eating lollipops. Throw the stick away and move on to the next one.
With each relationship, you will learn something about yourself and about what you like. For example, after my last relationship, I learned that I do not like it when my significant other wears black lipstick, black eyeliner, and sacrifices chickens to appease the demons of the underworld. Come to think of it, I don't know why I got into that relationship in the first place. The point is, the more relationships you have, the more you learn about what you want out of a relationship. So don't wonder if this guy is "for real" or not. Just have fun and try to learn something about yourself.
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