2008 Woodie Awards
Devil's Advocate
Weekly advice with a devilish twist
Issue date: 4/2/08 Section: Features
Dear Devil's Advocate,
So, the last few weekends me and my girlfriends have been going out and for the most part we have all had a really good time. But one of my girlfriends keeps doing the most annoying thing! Every time I start talking to a guy, she will waddle over five minutes later and intrude on our conversation. I wouldn't mind, except sometimes I really like these guys and it seems like she doesn't want me to have any fun if she can't have fun too. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Irritated Isabel
Dear Isabel,
Well, Isabel, it seems as if we have a case of a jealous friend here. It's a sticky situation, to say the least, because you don't want to lose a friend, but you don't want her to keep shuffling over and ruining your conversations. However, it's not impossible to navigate through this situation. Here are two potential solutions:
First, you could ask her why she always waddles over like a duck and quacks all over your good conversations. Tell her to keep her bill shut. Maybe you should use some less offensive language though. Explain to her how it makes you feel and why it makes you feel that way. Then, politely ask her to stop. This solution works, but it's kind of boring.
Another way to fix the situation is to get a new friend to replace Mrs. Quacks-A-Lot. There are plenty of girls out there who are willing to be your friend and won't ruin your chances with any guys. If you find a new friend, then you technically won't lose any friends because the overall number doesn't change. So, it's a win-win situation!
If you want to replace her with a new friend, but don't know how to go about it, then just make her get really mad at you. That will make her think that she is leaving you, when you are actually the one leaving her. Just make snide comments about her duck-like appearance. Tell her that her webbed feet look especially orange today. You know, stuff like that. She'll get fed up with you and leave. Then you will be rid of your problem!
So, the last few weekends me and my girlfriends have been going out and for the most part we have all had a really good time. But one of my girlfriends keeps doing the most annoying thing! Every time I start talking to a guy, she will waddle over five minutes later and intrude on our conversation. I wouldn't mind, except sometimes I really like these guys and it seems like she doesn't want me to have any fun if she can't have fun too. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Irritated Isabel
Dear Isabel,
Well, Isabel, it seems as if we have a case of a jealous friend here. It's a sticky situation, to say the least, because you don't want to lose a friend, but you don't want her to keep shuffling over and ruining your conversations. However, it's not impossible to navigate through this situation. Here are two potential solutions:
First, you could ask her why she always waddles over like a duck and quacks all over your good conversations. Tell her to keep her bill shut. Maybe you should use some less offensive language though. Explain to her how it makes you feel and why it makes you feel that way. Then, politely ask her to stop. This solution works, but it's kind of boring.
Another way to fix the situation is to get a new friend to replace Mrs. Quacks-A-Lot. There are plenty of girls out there who are willing to be your friend and won't ruin your chances with any guys. If you find a new friend, then you technically won't lose any friends because the overall number doesn't change. So, it's a win-win situation!
If you want to replace her with a new friend, but don't know how to go about it, then just make her get really mad at you. That will make her think that she is leaving you, when you are actually the one leaving her. Just make snide comments about her duck-like appearance. Tell her that her webbed feet look especially orange today. You know, stuff like that. She'll get fed up with you and leave. Then you will be rid of your problem!
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