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Jack & Jill

How do you handle summertime separation?

Jack

Love is a match: bright, intense, beautiful – and gone before you know it, leaving you blind in the dark. There are some really simple formulas that have been applied to love and relationships, and many factors can drive a wedge in a relationship, especially distance. Pretty much the strongest and longest of teenage and college relationships can end in heartbreak, and will crumble when faced with long miles, Skype dates and phone sex.

If your budding relationship is coming into fruition, then the fear of being long distance over this summer is real. The first and best thing to do is establish how seriously you and your significant other are taking your relationship. This will determine either a messy breakup or a nice mature one that will end on good terms, friendship and high fives.

Communication is key. Spending three long summer months apart will be hard, especially if you are used to seeing each other every day. Some people think college is a time for dating and doing adult things, like getting drunk and hooking up with people. Society makes you believe something is wrong with you if you aren’t married in your mid-to-late-twenties. What’s wrong with that is if you only have been in a few serious relationships, it’ll be hard to determine what it is you really like or actually really need in a life partner. Dating and meeting new people helps define what it is you like in another person. These are all things you have to consider when deciding whether or not a long distance relationship between the ages of 18-21 is really worth your time.

Either way, relationships shouldn’t make you feel like you’re being tied down. If distance seems scary, then take it as a sign of maturity, either on your end or your significant other’s. It’s not wrong to be honest and say you don’t think being together will work out over the summer. You guys will be back for the fall. So you can pick things back up then, or maybe you’ll both realize it’s better to be friends. Distance could be a bad thing for relationships, but it’s very healthy for understanding independence.

If you and your significant other decide to tough it out through the summer, then at least we live in the modern age and there are cars and trains and planes and the internet. As long as you’re both committed, things will work out, and at least there’s always Skype dates and, like I said, phone sex.

 

Jill

All semester long, you’ve hung out with your boyfriend and his suitemates in his room, or the lounge, while your friends reeked of envy as they sat around waiting for their guys to answer their Skype calls.

Now the summer is approaching, and the roles are going to switch. As your girl pals head back home to their men, you and your boyfriend head in separate directions. In your mind, whether it’s a 30-minute train ride or a five-hour flight, it feels like a thousand miles is about to be between you and your honey.

But! Don’t fret. A summer apart can do some good. As cliché as it might seem, absence does make the heart grow fonder. Just think! How can you miss someone that is always around? Just think about all of the new appreciations you will have when you get home, like the new appreciation you now have for your family since you’ve been away at college. Distance isn’t necessarily always bad. It can help teach your heart and mind to cherish the love you already have.

Just because it seems like a million miles between you two does not mean you cannot grow together. Being apart will give the relationship a chance to grow in itself. Anyone can feel butterflies when their lips are touching. A summer apart will give you the chance to see if there is a connection beyond the physical. Take this chance to get to know each other better by talking on the phone, writing letters and sending each other sweet gifts. You will be surprised what you learn when the physical is no longer present.

Remember not to be so negative. Long distance does not mean that your relationship is ‘done-zo.’ Living in this new age of technology means anything is possible… literally anything (wink). But let’s face it. Intimacy is not the only thing you are going to miss. It hurts to think of all those dates to Montgoris and romantic strolls down Union Turnpike that will have to come to a halt.

Remembering that technology has provided other ways to spend time together is comforting. It’s as simple as downloading Google Chrome, so the two of you can share screens to play games, watch movies, order from the same restaurant and have a Skype date, or send each other memory trinkets.

Regardless, any distance put between relationships is the ultimate testament if it is meant to be. Like that cliché saying: What’s meant to be will be. Obstacles will arise but with commitment and tons of Skype, everything will be all right. The best thing you can do for a summer apart is to believe in your love and keep the faith strong until the fall.

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