To whom it may concern,
With all the things I have to get done in the next two weeks, I can’t think of a better way to spend my time than to reminisce on my last four years. I’ve decided there are some people I need to thank, some I need to apologize to and some I just want to give a shout out.
First things first, I would like to thank all of the well-meaning people of Donovan Hall freshman year who posted signs and inspirational quotes and “respect” blurbs all over the building. Our bathroom décor was definitely improved with all the pretty colors that you used.
I’d also like to thank a certain friend of mine for creating a collage that became our iconic piece of artwork for all our subsequent apartments. That 8.5” x 11” piece of paper has been the start of many a conversation and caused many a laugh.
Thank you to all those who have gone out to 7-11 for me over the years and a very special thank you to the ones who came back with a tube of chocolate chip cookie dough. There is no better feeling in the world than sitting on the couch with a tube of cookie dough and a season of trashy TV shows to watch. There’s also no better way to gain the sophomore 70. Okay, maybe it was 17, but that wasn’t what it felt like…
I want to send my sincere apologies to all those on the strip we tossed water balloons at from our second floor room. Though you have to admit – it was pretty funny!
But to the person who retaliated by throwing eggs at us, screw you. The egg caked on our window and left a disgusting streak that I understand was still there when the girls moved into the room the next year.
To the cheerleading team, thank you for not openly laughing at me when I tried out for your team sophomore year. Also, thank you for one of the worst days of my life. I have rarely felt as bad about myself as that day when I could do nothing right. I have a much larger respect for you and what you do on a weekly basis. Thank you also for suggesting that I could’ve improved and tried out again – we both know that wasn’t the case but it was still nice of you to say.
DJ Zeke… there are so many things I want to say to you, I don’t know where to begin. I guess I’ll just thank you for the ringing in my ears that told me I could wear shorts outside.
To the people who have lived below or above us for the last three years, I don’t know if you’ve realized this but we’ve been able to hear most of what you’re saying or doing. A sample of the priceless things we’ve heard over the years: a couple doing the dirty (over and over again), a full-on basketball dribbling contest, a rave, bowling, arguments with your roommates, working out to Tae Bo with Billy Blanks.
I’m sorry to every guy that has ever played against me in intramural sports and come up looking silly. I know it must suck when all your friends watch a girl catch a pass over you or hit the ball over your head. To the guy that accidentally grabbed my butt instead of the flag in football that one time, I forgive you. My teammates might not though.
I would like to request my letters (you know what I mean – the ones that spell NOLICE) and Snuggies back from my successors at the Torch. I’d also like to thank them for their patience with my long emails, their sense of humor and their love of pizza.
My predecessor deserves the ultimate shout-out. He has been nothing less than outstanding and I am truly lucky to have him as a mentor. Unluckily for him, I’m following him out to Texas so he’ll be stuck with me again soon.
Thank you to the professors who took the time to get to know me. I can truly say that I’ve met professors here who I will stay in contact with for years to come. They’ve not only taught me the subject material, but also how to be a successful person – personally and professionally. I will say, however, that I am very sorry for my penchant for tardiness and the occasional missed class.
To my friends, old and new, thank you for all the memories. You all hold special places in my heart and are the reason that I will look fondly on my time at St. John’s. Whether it was acting as the sorting hat or making our own sparkly team t-shirts, I never thought I’d find so many people as weird and fun as me.
My roommates are incredible people. Thank you for your patience, your laughter and your willingness to have cupcake shaped furnishings all over the apartment. These four years would not have been the same without any one of you and I’m so glad that I can come home at the end of a day and rehash all the reasons the world’s population sucks without any judgment.
Michael – thanks. You’re not as vile as I thought you were.
Very sincerely yours,