I was walking with a couple of my friends at a house party last semester and one of them caught a guy’s attention. “She’s hot,” he said. Since I was the one closest to him, I said that she had a boyfriend. His response was: “So?”

This was not the only time I’ve heard something like this. Once, I heard someone say that “just because there’s a goalie, doesn’t mean you can’t score.” 

You may call me a hopeless romantic, a walking cliché or old school, but I believe in relationships and their meaning. To know that terms such as “side chicks/guys” and “main chicks/guys” are commonly used is very upsetting. 

There are various studies showing that most couples will experience some type of infidelity in their relationships. I know people that believe in that so much that they already expect the worst to happen, even if there’s nothing wrong with their relationship. 

I’m specifically talking about people from the outside trying to break into (or completely break) a relationship. That’s not to say, however, that the person that finds him or her in relationships isn’t to blame if there is cheating. It takes two to tango. 

Let me share a personal story: my father was not your example of a loyal man. I didn’t get to grow up close to him, but I found out about this whole episode when I researched his name back in 2011 and then through a sister I got to meet a few years ago.

It was 2003, before social media was a big thing and no one could slide into someone’s direct messages like they can today. It was the time of flip phones and SMS was already a thing.

My dad exchanged messages and phone calls with a married woman from his cell phone. Although he was married, he had a reputation of being a “player.” There was no physical proof that my father and this woman had an affair.  However, the messages exchanged and the amount of phone calls they shared made it hard to think otherwise.

Her husband saw my dad’s calls and messages in his wife’s phone and he assumed the worst, especially given my dad’s reputation. 

The angry husband looked for my dad at his job. They got into a heated argument. The husband took out his gun and shot my dad. Perhaps that was his way to save face or to set an example. Or maybe he was just really angry.

Unfortunately, my dad didn’t survive and was not able to argue whether or not he did have an affair with the woman. 

This case is an example that such adventures might end up in tragedy. Some tragedies cause physical harms, but surely all of them cause emotional harms. 

What if people broke away from trying to talk to someone that’s in a relationship? There are still many “fish in the sea,” so look for those who haven’t been snapped already.

I understand that a lot of the time someone might say they are single and approach you. You might find yourself in a situation without knowing about it. But, for those who are aware that the person they are getting involved with are indeed in a relationship, or those who try to approach someone without worrying about it, take a look inside your conscience, if there’s anything there.

Regardless of age, whether you’re young and trying to enjoy your life as much as you can, or older and there’s nothing left to lose, reconsider all parties involved. 

Look deep inside yourself and wonder if that moment of pleasure, sense of adventure or the good old feeling of “butterflies in your stomach” are worth the consequences, whatever they may be.