Straight from the horses mouth

Have no fear because my dormitory diaries are here. Remember this article comes out every other week. I just purchased one of those dry-erase marker boards for my door to ease the communication between residents and myself. But it has proved to be more than just a message board. It is serving as a canvas for the many up and coming artists on my floor. They enhance their skills on my board by drawing different scenarios. These scenarios always seem to involve genitalia, both male and female; there is no discrimination of any sort. I guess Freud was right, from the age of 12 on we are fixated in the genital stage. So, in my quest to enrich the lives of the residents, it makes me feel good to be able to provide them with an outlet for their self-expression.

I found out about an interesting phenomenon that occurs in the bathrooms of Century Hall. It appears as though one can actually hear people underneath or above them while in the bathroom. Many people I’ve spoken to have stated that there have been times where, while in the bathroom, they have heard conversations between two people in the bathroom directly above them. So next time you’re in the bathroom be aware of the fact someone might be able to hear you. In addition to this, I’ve heard through the grapevine that water balloons have been thrown from one of the top floors of Century Hall. It makes me happy to know that during these trying times (in reference to schoolwork), someone can take the time out of their busy schedule to regress to childhood; childhood being a time in which we were all free of responsibility.

I don’t know what it is about Friday the 13th; but people tend to get a little crazy for some reason. On that date someone decided to stand in front of one of the suite doors and pour baby powder through the missing peephole. Somehow the person gained entry into the suite and sprinkled a powder path to each one of the room doors and into each bathroom. Unlike the room doors, the bathroom doors were left open, leaving this person with the ability to frolic freely in the midst of their creation. This person truly capitalized upon that because he covered every inch of both bathrooms in baby powder. It takes a person of high levels of intelligence and integrity to accomplish such a task. A feat of that magnitude might only be rivaled by someone’s ability to rip down hallway telephones or smear walls with shaving cream. Each act even smarter than the next. I’m sure the people responsible for these acts are aware of the fact that these damages will be billed to residents of each floor.

Study rooms, lounges, library, common area and bedroom. What do all of these things have in common? They are the most commonly used study areas for resident students. There is one addition to that list, however, Donut Connection. I was very shocked when I heard this, but many people have been going there to study. Their reasoning for this is because they cannot study in any of the aforementioned locations due to the incessant noise. My suggestion to those individuals who frequent the Donut Connection is to have a suite meeting or talk to your RA and maybe something can be done to alleviate the situation. It is unfair for someone to have to go off campus to study because we do have the resources available on campus to meet those needs.

As you can probably tell, this article was full of exaggeration and sarcasm. If you couldn’t tell, I’m letting you know now that all but the last paragraph was written in a sarcastic way. The last paragraph was where my RA instincts to help residents came into effect. In case you weren’t able to pick up on the sarcasm throughout the article the following paragraph will serve to clarify.

I implore everyone to think about what they are doing. Whether you’re a resident or not, people must act with common sense and strive to better themselves. Dropping water-bombs, drawing genitalia, vandalizing property and spraying baby powder would make me question exactly what one is doing in an institution of higher learning. Because learning is the last thing they’re doing if they’re so preoccupied with childish antics. Don’t get me wrong, college is a time where one is supposed to have fun, but come on, this is ridiculous. If one lacks so much imagination, that in order to cure boredom they resort to such acts, than it seems there is a serious problem. Anyway, I’ll be back in a couple of weeks, hopefully with some of my faith in people’s intelligence restored.