Advice from the Feature Section

Q: I’m having guy problems. There is this guy that I’ve sort of been friends with since the beginning of the year. We hang out sometimes and it’s just weird. I mean I’ve always liked him, but it just hit me how much I like him. Anyhow, I don’t know what I should do. I want to tell him, but I’m afraid that if the worst happens, it’ll ruin the friendship we have. I just wish I knew how he felt. Please help!

–All Alone

Dear Alone,

Your problem sounds like a similar submission that your Sinister Highness has recently received. This one young lady pled for my divine intervention because she began to have feelings for her best friend of the opposite sex. Her problem was that she had a boyfriend, her friend had a girlfriend, and she was afraid to let her friend know how she felt; not only did she not want to ruin her current romantic alliance, she also did not want to lose her best friend. She also was unsure about her friend’s feelings for her.

The only difference between you and that other sad soul is that you do not have a boyfriend – which, I feel, is an important fact for you to remember! You do not have a spare source of affection. You are single, and guess what? You are going to remain single if you do not get over this irrational reservation you have going on!

Granted, you have a marvelous friendship with an amazing guy, but you are obviously unsatisfied. You want more – much more – and if you simply sit around asking, “what if?” you will never be happy. Your life will become a redundant tune of “Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda.”

So tell the guy how you feel. The worst that could happen is that he tells you he cannot reciprocate those feelings. Also, you should not be worried about ruining your existing friendship. After all, if it is as good as you claim such a minor issue should not affect your fellowship.

Q: I have really long legs, and I have trouble finding long jeans. I need a place to buy jeans. Where can I find a store that carries jeans longer than a 38 inseam?

–Mrs. Jolly Green

Dear Mrs. Green,

I feel your pain. I, too, am a tall drink of water, so I understand how difficult it can be to find clothing that accommodates your super-sized height. It is probably easier to find pants for someone that weighs 600 pounds! However, that is neither here nor there; you want to know where to shop. So here goes.

Shall we begin at the mall? Yes. There are women’s apparel shops that cater to the long-legged lady. Lane Bryant, in particular, comes to mind. You can find all the tall jeans you want in a variety of styles PLUS a nice selection of cute tops at poor man’s prices.

Another option for the alpine-esque consumer is mail order shopping. My personal favorite catalogues include Spiegel and Roaman’s. The clothes are hot, the underwear is cute, and they give charge cards to practically anyone!

Last, but not least, is The Last Resort, an apparel shop in Lake Worth, FL. The only reasons I mention this store are a) I love their clothes – pants and all – and b) A lot of their clothes are made for extra-long legs. I am sure you do not want to make a special trip to Florida for the sole purpose of shopping (unless that is your thing), so I advise you to take advantage of their awesome online catalogue.