Dear Devil’s Advocate,
My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for about two years. Now that we both started college, we have sort of agreed that we should see other people. We do not want to stop seeing each other, though, so I suggested an open relationship. We can see other people and still keep seeing each other. Do you think this is a good idea?
—Lost in Love
Actually, I think it is an awful idea. Open relationships always sound good in theory, but they rarely ever work.
You, and perhaps your girlfriend as well, are guilty of wanting to “have it all.” In your head, the plan seems bulletproof. You get the thrill and excitement of dating new people, and you still get to be involved with the person you have cared about for years.
Let me repeat, this will never work.
Although you believe that you will be able to handle the thought of your girlfriend with another guy, you are simply lying to yourself.
You will be overcome with jealousy and hurt, as will your girlfriend when she hears about your extracurricular activities with other girls. Eventually, you’ll just begin to resent each other.
It also is not fair to the other people you might decide to date. And what happens if you begin to really like one of the new girls you date? Now you have a whole new set of problems on your hands.
In the end, it will be better to simply decide whether you want to stay with your girlfriend or break up with her completely.
After all, you cannot “have your cake and eat it too.” (Actually, I think that saying is completely idiotic, but you get what I’m saying.)
Dear Devil’s Advocate,
I’ve had an amazing four years at college. I went to the same school as my three best friends and we have taken advantage of every party that happened at our school.
However, I fell behind in school, so I have to stay in college for another year. My friends have already graduated and gotten jobs.
I feel like I’m being left behind while my friends go on and live their new lives. What can I do?
Dear Change hater,
Feeling like you have been left behind is one of the worst feelings in the world. However, let’s stop being dramatic for a second and put your situation into perspective.
Your friends are not moving to some remote island and leaving you forever. They are simply moving on and doing what you are supposed to do when college ends. Also, your friends are not going to dramatically change as people and become three new business suit-wearing automatons riding on the conveyor belt of the corporate world.
Sure, they may not be able to go out and every night and achieve a drunken stupor with you, but they are not going to forget about you either.
Perhaps this is the perfect opportunity for you to catch up on your studies.
After all, the one thing that feels worse than being left behind when everyone else is moving on is being that weird old guy, in his 15th year of college, who tries to show the young kids the cool dance moves from his era.
Don’t become that guy. Please.