Advice from the Features Section

Dear Devil’s Advocate,

There is this girl that I have worked with for the last year and a half and since this past summer we started becoming very close friends outside of work. I have developed feelings for her. It was bothering me to the point that I had to tell her, which I did about a month ago on one of our daily phone conversations.

I was almost sure that she didn’t feel the same way so I told her by saying something along the lines of "I need to tell you this to get it off my chest. I know it’s one sided but I really do care about you." I also told her that I didn’t want things to get weird between us. She assured me they wouldn’t but she never gave me a response to the expression of my feelings towards her.

At least two months have gone by since I told her and we talk every day, sometimes three to four hours a night. She calls me, texts me, etc. All of this contact with her is one of the main reasons that made me start to like her to begin with and I’m just wondering how she can be as close to me as she is and not have any feelings back. I am almost more upset that I spilled my emotions to her and got no response back. Where do I go from here??

-Feelings or Friends


Dear Feelings,

Girls are so awful sometimes. We go around complaining about guys all the time and then we pull some of the same stints they do. Sigh.

Anyway, I can see how you’d be really upset about this. It’s great that your friendship hasn’t changed, but it’s absolute crap that she has seemingly ignored your expression of feelings towards her.

Here’s the thing, though. She’s going to keep acting this way unless you say something. Now, she could be acting this way for one of two reasons. Perhaps she feels something towards you too, but she’s not ready to admit it so she decided just staying friends was a good solution for now.

The other option is that she’s a selfish-.insert unmentionable word here-and she doesn’t feel the same way about you but she doesn’t want to lose you as a friend. And just in case you aren’t able to figure it out, if the situation turns out to be more like option B, she’s being incredibly unfair for not at least telling you that she only likes you as a friend.

This is why you have to say something to her again. I know it sounds awful and embarrassing but it’s the only chance you’ve got to save some of you dignity. Yes, I know that sounds overly dramatic but it’s true. If she doesn’t like you in a boyfriend/girlfriend sense, you should know that and deal with it accordingly. And if she does like you as more than a friend, then you should be getting the ball rolling anyway. This isn’t 1950.


Dear Devil’s Advocate,

I’m about to graduate college in a few months and I’ve been thinking a lot about moving out of my house. My original plan was to get a job, or at least stay at the part-time one I have now, save some money and move out in a year or so.

But one of my friends just found this apartment and asked me to room with him and another guy. It’s pretty expensive but my friend says we should be able to swing it. It sounds perfect but I’m worried that it’s too good to be true. What do you think?

-Three’s Company


Dear Company,

It does sound perfect. Almost as perfect as that idea I once had to straighten my hair with a clothing iron. Hey, if it worked in the 1960s, why wouldn’t it work now? A burnt neck and two bald spots later, I realized that perhaps it wasn’t such a great idea after all.

Look, everybody wants to move out of their house. The whole idea of independence is tempting enough to jump into any idea that includes four walls and a roof over your head.

But let’s be realistic here. You didn’t mention your friends’ monetary situations but you did say that you didn’t even have a full-time job yet, which probably means your friends are in the same boat.

Having that money for rent every month sounds feasible right now but it probably won’t be. Who knows if you all will be able to make enough money each month? Not to mention the fact that even if you do manage to scrape up enough money for the rent, you still have to worry about general living expenses, like food. That’s pretty important. And you don’t want to wind up having to work somewhere that you hate every hour of the day just because you desperately need the money and have no time to find a real job.

This idea sounds great now. It may even sound great a month or two from now. But I think you should stick with your original plan. Graduate, concentrate on getting a full-time job and save your money. See where you are a year from now and decide about moving out then.

Besides, these are the last few years of your life when you can milk off your parents. Enjoy them.