Torch Reads

Attention unattached ladies: some of you may have reached the peak of frustration this week. There are little pink hearts everywhere, cupid-arrows afloat, red roses galore, and the magical L-word on everyone’s lips. You try not to sound like “the Grinch of V-Day,” however, while everyone else is all lovey-dovey, you simply cannot grasp why you haven’t found your prince charming.

“Is it me?” you wonder.

Well, according to Dr. Travis L. Stork, the alluring star of The Bachelor: Paris, that is a keen possibility. In his book, Don’t Be That Girl: A Guide to Finding the Confidant, Rational Girl Within, Stork uses his personal experience and professional knowledge to expose the behaviors of the unpleasant “that” girl– behaviors that ultimately damage relationships and unfortunately squirt a bit of Man-Repellant onto you.

She may be the “Insecure Girl” who feels uncomfortable in her own skin, the “Yes-You-to-Death Girl” who agrees with her boyfriend 100 percent to avoid conflict while swallowing her own thoughts or the “Working Girl” who is career obsessed and uncommitted to anything else. She could also be the animated “Drama Queen” who enlivens at the sound of gossip or conflict, or the “Bitter Girl” who has been hurt before and has therefore built a wall around her heart.

Through describing an array of pitfalls which women tend to fall into, Stork not only gives advice on how to combat these weaknesses, but also keys readers into “dead giveaways” that they send off to men which consequently brush them away.

“You can be the most beautiful woman in the entire city, but if you approach the men you meet with brutal honesty, no-nonsense, take-no-prisoners attitude, you will only succeed in scaring off the good ones. I know it’s too tempting to rationalize that sort of behavior by telling yourself you’re sick of playing games and want to be straightforward. But please, just for one moment, imagine if a guy you’d only known a week or so told you that he was a one-woman man and he expected a one-man woman, so if you’re dating around, well, this just isn’t going to work for him. If you’re not a little afraid, then I’m afraid for you,” he writes.

With his humorous and easy going tone, this book is more like an outsider’s look into a man’s diary. “I am going to tell you a secret: As guys, we are always watching how you treat your friends. In fact, nothing is more concerning than meeting a woman who treats a man like gold but treats her friends poorly,” he tells his female readers.

Stork’s clear-cut opinions on dating sheds light onto women’s many unanswered questions regarding men.

“What you think of yourself is ultimately what everyone will wind up thinking about you as well,” says Stork. “If you believe you’re the coolest thing since Sub-Zero, your dates are going to feel chills running up their spines in your presence. If you feel that your personality is about as exciting as a slice of day-old bread, you probably won’t inspire much passionate devotion on the part of your suitors.”

Rather than plainly elaborate on women’s falsities as the “Insecure Girl,” “The Drama-Queen,” or the “Yes Girl,” the author describes and warns readers that such behaviors can lead to them finding “that guy”; an unfortunate scenario, so to speak. In his “Don’t Date That Guy”portion of the book, Stork demonstrates that women should veer from “Mr. Just Passing Time Guy,” “Mr. Abusive Guy,” “Mr. Desperate Guy,” and “Mr. Fix-It Guy.”

One of the most excellent aspects of this guidebook is the fact that is is interactive. After each chapter there is a ten-question quiz, allowing the reader to determine if they fit under the categories described. The scoring, or Doctor’s “RX”- (diagnosis) after the true false and multiple choice questions, also give the reader a chance to contemplate how they can learn from situations and look out for potholes.

Don’t Be That Girl is a must read for women of all ages. It is suitable for those who are both struggling to find Mr. Right as well as for those who think they have caught their “lucky-fish.”

This unique book has the potential to not only assist in the development of relationships but also adjust those that may need some tweaking. It’s definitely an asset to the single lady and a giggle for the elder lady who has been there, done that.