Dear Devil’s Advocate,
So, the last few weekends me and my girlfriends have been going out and for the most part we have all had a really good time. But one of my girlfriends keeps doing the most annoying thing! Every time I start talking to a guy, she will waddle over five minutes later and intrude on our conversation. I wouldn’t mind, except sometimes I really like these guys and it seems like she doesn’t want me to have any fun if she can’t have fun too. What should I do?
Well, Isabel, it seems as if we have a case of a jealous friend here. It’s a sticky situation, to say the least, because you don’t want to lose a friend, but you don’t want her to keep shuffling over and ruining your conversations. However, it’s not impossible to navigate through this situation. Here are two potential solutions:First, you could ask her why she always waddles over like a duck and quacks all over your good conversations. Tell her to keep her bill shut. Maybe you should use some less offensive language though. Explain to her how it makes you feel and why it makes you feel that way. Then, politely ask her to stop. This solution works, but it’s kind of boring.Another way to fix the situation is to get a new friend to replace Mrs. Quacks-A-Lot. There are plenty of girls out there who are willing to be your friend and won’t ruin your chances with any guys. If you find a new friend, then you technically won’t lose any friends because the overall number doesn’t change. So, it’s a win-win situation! If you want to replace her with a new friend, but don’t know how to go about it, then just make her get really mad at you. That will make her think that she is leaving you, when you are actually the one leaving her. Just make snide comments about her duck-like appearance. Tell her that her webbed feet look especially orange today. You know, stuff like that. She’ll get fed up with you and leave. Then you will be rid of your problem!
Hope this helps!Devil’s Advocate
Dear Devil’s Advocate,
My “friend” and her boyfriend have just broken things off recently. She is basically destroyed over the situation. She never loved someone the way that she loved him and would go to the end of the world and back for him. She doesn’t know where they stand and what their future holds. She wants to think positive and believe she has hope for them to be a “couple” again but she finds it hard to be positive. I tell her to just back off and to get away because I see how hard it is for her and I hate seeing her hurt but she finds it very difficult to do because she loves and cares for him so much. They have spent a significant amount of time together and were huge parts in each other’s lives. It’s hard to think they are just giving up after all they have been through. Neither of them cheated and this idea wasn’t even a factor in the break up. She is just confused and doesn’t know what to do. I don’t really have the best advice for her. I just hate to see a friend hurting and not know what to say to her. Any advice? Sincerely,Cindy
You know that game Telephone where one person whispers a message to another person and they pass it down the line to the last person and then at the end, the message resembles absolutely nothing it started from? The reason the message is different is because somebody in that line is a bad communicator. That is the same problem we have here. To quote Cool Hand Luke, “What we have here is a failure to communicate.”See, what your friend has to do is to tell her ex-boyfriend how she feels. Otherwise, how is he supposed to know? Do you think he is psychic or something? Don’t tell her to back off and get over it, because it will only come back to bite her in the behind. When you love someone wholeheartedly, you have to tell them, even at the risk of rejection. You have to offer your entire heart to that person and give it your all so that when you look back, you’ll never regret the fact that you didn’t push harder for something you really believed in–your feelings. Throw caution to the wind and pour your heart out, forgetting the possibility that he may not feel the same. You don’t know how he feels, so you can’t make that judgment. Trust your emotions. Tell him. And if he doesn’t feel the same, you’ll go through a grieving process, but it can only begin once you know there is absolutely no way you two can work out. Until you know this, you’ll keep wondering about the possibility. Oops! Did I say you? I meant “she.” Forgive me. Everything happens for a reason and what’s meant to be will find its way. Its very easy to grow weary at times when your life seems to be going down a different path than you had planned, but sometimes things have to fall apart so better things can fall together.
Be true to yourself, Devil’s Advocate