The Torch

SATIRE: Dorm shower feels resentment

Frank Sciortino, Contributing Writer

April 27, 2016

Queens, NY — A dorm room shower admitted Tuesday that it has a personal vendetta and is out to get the student who frequents it every morning. “First, he wakes me up super early at 7:00 every morning after his roommate...

Cut Ethan Couch a break

Frank Sciortino, Contributing Writer

April 20, 2016

Disclaimer: This story is satirical. If you have ever seen a picture of Ethan Couch, I’m sure you share my sentiments when I say that I can hardly believe our buddy Ethan could have possibly known the dangers behind drinking...

The Independent Student Newspaper of St. John's University