The Independent Student Newspaper of St. John's University

The Torch

The Independent Student Newspaper of St. John's University

The Torch

The Independent Student Newspaper of St. John's University

The Torch

Jack and Jill: On being together for the holidays


It may not feel like it to you, but we’re adults. We’re in college, living away from the nest that our parents raised us in for the first 18 years of our life. Our relationship is for real — we see each other all the time, sleep over each other’s apartments regularly and do the cliché couple-y things like baking cookies together and having picnics when the weather is nice.

We’re grown-ups in a grown-up relationship. Which means we should spend the holidays together, period.

I don’t really care how close-knit you and your family are — they can handle one of the two major family holidays, Thanksgiving or Christmas, without you. I don’t care that you’ve watched Elf and the first two Home Alone movies with your sisters every year since you were 14 or that you’re holding on to a three-year unbeaten streak in the wishbone with your Uncle John.

Nothing, not even Christmas traditions, lasts forever, and there’s no better time to break away from the mold than to spend the holidays with me. I mean, we spend everything else together, why would this be any different?

Besides, isn’t there something special about opening up your gift from that special someone (aka me) when  it’s gift-wrapped with a big red bow on it on Christmas Day? That’s what all the Lexus commericials do — are you
saying we’re not as cool as the couples who buy each other Lexuses for Christmas?

No, of course not. We’re just as good as them, and as such, we should be just as together on Christmas. Note: I can’t afford to buy you a Lexus. Not yet, anyway.

Seriously, the holidays are about being with the people you love. And we love each other – yes, more than you love your crazy Aunt Sue, and more than I love my Uncle Joe Biden. Just because we’ve spent the first 20-ish years spending time with family because we’re supposed to, doesn’t mean we’re cursed with that fate forever.

As we grow older and create a new life apart from the people we’ve grown up with, it’s an opportunity to create new holiday traditions. A time for us to get away from the drunken uncle or the family member who just starts crying in the middle of dinner for no apparent reason.

Not to mention the fact that if we did end up celebrating the holidays at our respective family’s households, anyway, we’d most likely spend most of the day texting/calling each other. Why not just do one better and spend the day talking in person rather than on the phone? Why not upset one set of parents instead of both?


Every family has its own traditions. In my family, Christmas has always been celebrated at my house.

Now that we’re together, I don’t know if I’m obligated to go to your home or should I have you come over to mine. My family is really strict when it comes to the holidays. If I miss one, it turns into a huge problem. I remember one year, I tried to go to my best friend’s house on New Year’s Eve and I didn’t hear the end of it.

Imagine if I told them I was going to your house for Christmas dinner. Whew, I don’t even want to think of what they’d say. We don’t do much at my home. I mean, we have a huge family dinner, open gifts together, watch Christmas movies and all that jazz. Now that I’m older, it’s getting kind of old but hey, pretty soon I’ll be on my own so I figure I just deal with it.

I really want to be with you on Christmas Day but I know family comes first. All of my girlfriends tell me that the guy is supposed to come over to the girl’s house but if your family is as strict as mine is, how are we going to work this out? My family loves you and would enjoy your company but I can’t put you in a position where you have to abandon yours.

All of my friends have their boyfriends over for the holidays. I have to admit, I’m kind of jealous. They usually do something like a rotation between Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. The girl would go over the guy’s house for Thanksgiving then New Years and then he comes over for Christmas.

It makes sense but I know my family would feel some type of way. At the end of the day, they have to deal with the fact that I’m growing up. If my uncles and aunts can bring their spouses, I think it’s right that I bring mine. Let me not scare you with the word ‘spouse’, but you know what I mean.

My annoying aunt always says that you never know who will be in your life the following year. I guess she means that next year, I can be dating someone else then when the holidays come around, I’ll have no choice but to be reminded of you. In a way, my aunt is right but I’m not going to listen to that negativity.

Having you meet my entire family can be nerve wrecking, especially now that you know some of them are so negative, but I think they’d love you. As long as you’re respectful and have manners, my family will approve.

Maybe we can do this. Since we didn’t spend Thanksgiving together, maybe you can come over for Christmas and I go over for New Years. My family will just have to deal with me missing the ball drop. I hope I’m not stressing you out with all of this.

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