The Independent Student Newspaper of St. John's University

The Torch

The Independent Student Newspaper of St. John's University

The Torch

The Independent Student Newspaper of St. John's University

The Torch

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“Fallout:” Welcome to the Wasteland
James Williams, Asst. Sports Editor • April 25, 2024
Torch Photo / Olivia Rainson
The Realities of Dating in College
Olivia Rainson, Features Editor & Social Media Manager • April 24, 2024

St. John’s Conversation

THINGS I THINK ABOUT WHILE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY I HAVE TO PAY THREE DOLLARS FOR MY OWN TRANSCRIPT:

Philosophy classes are required simply to bring down student’s grade point averages. Without Philosophy, St. John’s would look too easy, and the administrators would come under fire for a curriculum that is not challenging enough. So what do they do? Make three philosophy classes part of the SJU experience, and GPA’s go down. I will not argue this.

The only time I’ve ever set foot in Sun Yat-sen Hall is to visit Lou Carnesecca’s office, and I think that just about says everything you need to know about Sun Yat-sen Hall.

Can someone please explain to me how a book I purchase for $75 when the semester begins is worth $8 at the end, and then is magically restored back to its original price? Who’s in charge of the accounting, Arthur Andersen?

I’d love to know how the Great Lawn got its name. I think it was because people didn’t want to keep referring to it as “that big patch of grass in front of the library” and felt that the Great Lawn made it sound better, more official. Do you need the Great Lawnmower to cut the Great Lawn? Am I the only one who thinks this way?

With course selection coming up, here’s something to keep in mind – Teachers make the class, not the material they teach. The basic material is set, but it’s all about how well the teacher conveys the information. With that, I’d like to thank Dr. Statile, Dr. Morris, Prof. Cheruvelil and Dr. Gesualdi for the fine and outstanding work so far this semester. Keep up the continued good work. It’s been a pleasure to be in your class.

Good God! Did I just write what I think I wrote?? I need to go grab some late night.

Mmmmmmm………..late night.

Everyone knows that the control arms that “protect” the gates to the campus are pretty much for show. I mean, c’mon, if I wanted to speed away, am I really going to stop because the arm is down? No, I’m going to plow right through it. How come if I walk onto the campus, no one stops me, or checks my ID? Am I less dangerous just because I don’t have a vehicle? My suggestion – don’t let cars on campus. And we need those retina-reading eye scanners from “Demolition Man.” That’ll solve the problem.

Speaking of “Demoliton Man,” is there a worse movie that you just have to watch? I mean, Sly Stallone, Sandra Bullock, Wesley Snipes, Denis Leary and Jesse Ventura all in the same movie. It makes me wanna ask, “What’s your boggle?”

Have you noticed that in every building you go to, there are two doors? Yet why is it that everyone feels to use the same one? It’s like driving a car – you stay to the right. That’s when I realized that most New Yorkers don’t get their license till they’re about 28. Or they think we’re in England and need to stay to the left.

It seems kind of wrong that men’s soccer can go to the Final Four and barely fill DaSilva Field, yet the men’s basketball team can sell out every game at Alumni Hall, and their last Final Four appearance was 17 years ago.

There was only one Flagboy, and for all those who are waiting for his return, he’s not coming back. Give up the hope that a boy will run a giant SJU flag around the court late in the second half of basketball games ever again. Most of you have no idea what I’m talking about, and that’s the first step to letting go of Flagboy.

No able-bodied person should ever take the elevator up or down one floor. God gave you two legs, use them.

Did anyone watch ESPN’s “The Season: Red Storm Rising, Part I” about our own St. John’s Red Storm? Truly captivating stuff. There’s comedy, pure comedy, and then there’s Marcus Hatten’s hair when it’s not in cornrows. Tune in this Sunday at 8:00 p.m. for the second and final installment of the program.

Term papers are busywork. They don’t really teach you anything, except where the library is.

For those who are upset that construction on the new soccer stadium is taking away parking spots, look on the bright side – you can now enjoy the scenic view of the parking lot as you drive around for a half-hour, followed by the breath-taking walk from your spot along Utopia Parkway.

Good luck in the future endeavors of John Kresse, who retired as the head coach of the College of Charleston. A St. John’s alum and former Redmen assistant of 14 years, Kresse compiled a 560-143 record in 23 seasons on the Cougar bench, made four NCAA Tournament appearances and two NIT berths along with an NAIA National Championship in 1983.

Congratulations to freshman Meagan Allman, who threw the first no-hitter of her career over the weekend in a 10-0 win over Morehead State. Allman missed out on a perfect game when she hit a batter. Let the record show that the score in the hits off Allman category – Della Rosa 1, Morehead State 0.

Jason Della Rosa is a junior journalism major who finally got his first response to a column. It was from a UConn grad who loved the one bashing UConn. Send your comments to [email protected].

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