A small aquarium for a big fish and his buddy

The GOP Debate

Irene Spezzamonte, Staff Writer

The pilot fish is one of the ocean’s most common fish. It usually enjoys the world’s warm, tropical waters, where it attaches itself to the ocean’s larger predators, usually sharks. It creates a reciprocal relationship with the shark, following it everywhere. By always staying together, the pilot fish protects itself from predators and the shark protects itself from parasites.

A couple, composed of a pilot fish and a shark, was seen on Sept. 16, 2015. No, we are not talking about Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. We are talking about Donald Trump and Carly Fiorina.

Mr. Trump, the big shark with blonde hair, has been swimming in the GOP party since June, moving his 50 million dollar lips without any concern. Alternatively, Mrs. Fiorina has been thinking of a good response to Mr. Trump’s inevitable comments about her looks for weeks, making sure that this time her hair would look better than his.

“I think women all over this country heard very clearly what Trump said,” Mrs. Fiorina boomed during the debate on CNN. Too late, Mrs. Fiorina. If the country heard very clearly what Mr. Trump said, the country saw very clearly what you tried to be: the shark. It is too late to decide to be the shark now. Those born as a pilot fish will always be a pilot fish. Mrs. Fiorina, and the other candidates as well, will have to continue living off the scraps of an uncontrollable candidate their own unoriginality has created.

Mrs. Fiorina’s response has crowned her the new, feminist activist of the Republican Party. She, exactly like a loyal pilot fish, is now second in the polls, head-to-head with her shark, Mr. Trump.

“I think she’s got a beautiful face and I think she’s a beautiful woman,” Mr. Trump promptly replied. But, we all know what he meant: I appreciate your effort, but I’m still getting all of the public attention. Mr. Trump is more than happy to keep this contest in the domain of a beauty pageant. He has some experience in that field, at least.

Even Chris Christie seemed to be bothered by this consistent love-hate relationship. “You’re both successful people. Congratulations,” Mr. Christie said, “But stop this childish back-and-forth between the two of you.”

Maybe, by the end of the race, Mr. Trump will take Mrs. Fiorina out for dinner and she will finally enjoy an entire meal and not only the leftovers.

Pay attention America, the sea is full of candidates and not all of them are sharks and pilot fish. “Look at that face. ‘Would anyone vote for that?’” There were 11 candidates on that stage, and you are completely free to look at the face you prefer.