Advice From the Feature Section

Q: I just recently broke up with my boyfriend. I felt that our relationship was not going anywhere. Although I broke up with him, all of a sudden I find myself thinking about him. Did I make the right decision in dumping him? Should I talk to him about it and try to work it out? Will these thoughts fade with time?

–Second Thought Sally

Dear Sally,

Guess what? You are lucky! I am in a very compassionate mood tonight for some reason, so my advice will come out accordingly.

First, I really think that you need to think about why you broke up with your ex-boyfriend in the first place. Why did you feel that your relationship was going nowhere? Depending on the answers you come up with, you really need to consider the possibility that maybe you were right about breaking up with him, and that the only reason you are having second thoughts is because you are lonely. So, really give my first question some thought.

Second, if you decide that you were wrong in initiating the split, you have to strategize about how you are going to get your man back! This is easier said than done. There are so many different factors that go into this second step. Has he given you any indication that he wants you back? If you two decide to give it another shot, what will you do differently this time? After all, you do not want to go through this a second time. So, good luck, and let me know what happens.

Q: Many times, I find myself feeling inadequate here among my colleagues at school. I have difficulty finding motivation. Do you have any ideas to get my spirits up? Please do not tell me to go to a football game.

–Xavier the Exiled

Dear Xavier,

Do not worry. I would never suggest that you go to a football game. I am trying to help you, not push you over the edge. Do you want my suggestion? Go to a soccer game. No, I am just kidding-kind of. Being around other students and getting to know your peers in a friendly setting like a sporting event may help you overcome your feelings of inadequacy.

If the jock scene is not your thing, try some of the other groups on campus. There’s always campus ministry, volunteerism, the arts-whatever tickles your pickle! You can also go off-campus to pursue other interests.

As far as motivation goes, you have to find it within yourself. I know that doesn’t help you much, but it is up to you to figure out what drives you and what makes you feel good. Lately, whenever I find myself getting down, I have come to realize that I can find motivation and comfort in the “little things,” like steamy hot showers, biting into a juicy pear, or by simply lying outside on the grass. After I finish these activities, I feel like I can take on the world. So give it a try and just figure out where your motivation lies.