Advice from the features section

Dear Devil’s Advocate,

My boyfriend is going to college on the west coast in the fall. We’ve been seeing each other for two years and we’ve never been that far apart. I love him, but I don’t know if we can handle a long term relationship. Once school starts, I’m not even gonna see him again until Thanksgiving. What can I do to keep us together while he’s away?

                                                                                                  — Clueless in New York

Dear Clueless,


Although it is admirable that you want to make a go out of maintaining a long-term relationship, the brutal truth is that over 75 percent of these relationships fail. Ok, I just made up that statistic, but the truth of the matter is that it is extremely tough to make these relationships work. If the sheer lack of seeing each other doesn’t kill it, the constant anxiety over what he’s doing at every moment will. You’re young and, for the sake of this article, attractive and you’re going to meet many new people in your life. Do yourself a favor and suggest that you simply maintain your friendship with each other, at least for the first year or so. Who knows, maybe one day you two will find your way back to each other. Don’t bet on it, though, because that kind of thing only happens in sappy chick-flicks, but if the thought helps get you through the night, then dream away.


Dear Devil’s Advocate,

I’m going into junior year and I still haven’t decided on a major. My parents want me to major in computer science because I spend a lot of time on the computer, but I’m not really into it. How do I decide on a major?

                                                                                                             —Computer Nerd

Dear Nerd,

Let me start by saying that most parents know little to nothing about computers.

After all, when they were young, they used to etch things into stone walls using nothing but a small chisel (and all this after they walked three miles to school, in the snow…barefoot.) The fact that you were able to master the complicated tasks of turning on your computer and signing onto AOL makes them believe that you could be the next Bill Gates (minus the eerily hypnotic gaze). However, you are the one that will be stuck with whatever career choice you decide upon, so it’s best that you’re sure that the major you pick is the right one. Besides, taking a bit more time to decide upon a major now is decidedly less harmful than rushing into a decision and paving the way for a lifetime of unhappiness.

After all, your parents want nothing more in life than for you to be happy. I mean, I don’t know your parents but they probably do. And if not, then you have far bigger problems on your hands than this.