Dear Devil’s Advocate,

I have a problem that’s pretty embarrassing for a guy my age.

I’ve been dating this girl now for close to two years and we’ve had our ups and downs, break-ups and make-ups, but recently things have been starting to get weirder than ever.

She’s two years younger than me, but for some reason she bosses me around and makes me do everything her way.

It’s so obvious now that she wears the pants in the relationship and now my friends have started to mercilessly make fun of me.

I think I love her but I feel like a little kid sometimes and its beginning to really bother me. My friends really don’t like her but I can’t seem to get her out of my mind. What should I do?

– Confused and abused

Dear Confused,

[Insert corny whipping noise here] Yeah, your whole situation sounds pretty pathetic. Your friends are probably saying the exact same thing and they are actually 100 percent correct.

You’ll probably argue that your friends don’t truly know you and your girlfriend’s situation and, therefore, shouldn’t cast judgment.

However, they are your friends and when friends witness one of their own becoming a doormat for an undeserving girl, they are going to voice their opinions until the last breath leaves their body.

In all seriousness though, it sounds like your girlfriend is taking advantage of you big time. And while I’m sure you two have shared a number of good times together, do you really want to be known as the whipping boy to your personal she-devil for the rest of your life?

While it’s a bit idealistic to say that both parties in all relationships should be completely equal, it’s only fair to expect a kind of mutual respect.

Your girlfriend is not respecting you. No amount of good times and “love” is worth that. It is about time you cut her loose. If for no other reason, do it to shut up your friends.

Not that they will shut up. They are going to make fun of you for this for years and years to come. As they should; you deserve it.

Dear Devil’s Advocate,

Over the past year, I have had a lot of classes with one particular guy. As we got to know each other, I developed a crush on him.

I told him that I liked him, and at first he seemed okay, but he started hanging out with me less and less.

We didn’t even see each other over break, and he didn’t return any of my phone calls.

Now that the spring semester has started, and I have classes with him again, should I ask him why he doesn’t want to hang out anymore?

Or should I just move on without mentioning anything to him?

-Baffled business major

Dear Baffled,

Do not say a word. While it might seem mature to try to talk it out with him and ask him what’s up, ultimately you’re probably going to come off as looking a bit desperate. As much as it may hurt to admit it, if he were truly interested in you, he would have made some kind of effort to hang out or at least talk to you.

I don’t mean to completely dash any hopes you still have of getting with this guy, but repeatedly putting yourself out there for him is definitely not going to make him suddenly appreciate you.

If it were me, I’d go the complete opposite route. Be polite when you see him, but for all intents and purposes do your best to just ignore him.

If he is even the slightest bit interested in you, your behavior will probably make him curious. And if he is not, well, then you have already made the first step towards forgetting about the loser.