Devil’s Advocate

Dear Devil’s Advocate,

The school year is almost over and I’m in some serious trouble. I’m failing at least two of my classes. To make it worse, since I dorm, my parents know nothing about it. They think I’m doing great. It’s not even like the classes were so hard or anything. I just didn’t do any of the work and barely went to class. It’s way too late to drop the classes at this point. How can I break the news to my parents without them murdering me?


– Not Exactly Honor Roll



Dear Not Exactly,

I’m not going to lie. Your parents might in fact murder you. And if you have a large backyard, they might bury you there and no one would be the wiser.

In all seriousness, though, it’s not going to be easy breaking this news to them. Not just because you’re failing, but also because you’ve been hiding this from them all semester. You just have to bite the bullet and get it over with.

However, be prepared that your parents might do something drastic to try to change this situation, such as making you live at home instead of dorming. Most parents would immediately make the correlation between poor grades and constant partying away at school.

Breaking the news to your parents is the easy part, though. After that, you have to make the effort to do better in school.

No one’s saying that you have to study 24 hours a day, but I doubt you want to be one of those people who are in college until you’re 35 either. I doubt you would even get a backyard burial if that were the case.



Dear Devil’s Advocate,

I’m about to graduate college in less than a month and I’m terrified. I enjoyed my time a lot in college and I did very well, grade-wise. However, I do not have a full-time job waiting for me after I graduate like some of my other friends. I don’t even know if I’m ready to deal with a full-time job and reality, in general. I kind of wish things could just stay the way they are for awhile. Is there anything I can do to make this huge transition a little easier?


-Scared graduate


Dear Scared,

I would bet that a lot of people are in the same exact boat you are. Graduating from college is a huge deal and will definitely be a major change in your life. You can’t stop the change from happening, but you can learn to deal with it accordingly.

As for the lack of a job problem, you’re only just graduating now. Sure, some of your friends already have jobs lined up and that’s great for them. However, it doesn’t make you a loser if you don’t have one right away. Keep sending out resumes and going on interviews and in the meantime, just enjoy your last summer of freedom.

Beyond that, I really can’t help you at all. If I had all the answers, then I guess I wouldn’t be terrified about graduating in a few weeks either. But I am. I definitely am. I’m just going to go huddle in a dark corner now and rock myself to sleep. Good luck.