The Independent Student Newspaper of St. John's University

The Torch

The Independent Student Newspaper of St. John's University

The Torch

The Independent Student Newspaper of St. John's University

The Torch

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Devil’s Advocate

Dear Devil’s Advocate,
My boyfriend is going to college in California, while I’m going to school here in New York. We talk on the phone all the time, but I wish I could see him in person more often. he always tells me about how much he loves college life and his new friends and that he has met this girl named Laurie that he’s become good friends with. Secretly I get jealous when he mentions her, but I haven’t told him about jealousy. I almost feel like we’ve drifted apart, but he constantly reassures me that he loves me and always talks about plans in the future which involve me. Am I being selfish wanting him to be present all the time and what can I do to be closer to him?

-Confused Girlfriend

Dear Confused,
Girly, I think you need to take a breath. Inhale, exhale, and repeat. Okay? Now you seem to use a lot of energy concentrating on your boyfriend rather than your own life.
Long distance relationships are hard to deal with, but this is up to you and your boyfriend to decide if you’re both mature enough to handle the lack of time together and the distance while still remaining faithful to each other. You say he has many good friends and that he has become good friends with a girl and naturally any girlfriend would begin getting suspicious if their boyfriend gets close with another female.
If you can trust him, you’ll know he won’t do anything to harm you, and just the fact that he makes time to speak to you on the phone is dedication enough in this case. If you still feel a little uneasy about his friendship with this girl, you should tell your boyfriend how you feel, otherwise it’s going to continue to bother you.
As for you, keep your green monster as far away as possible and do stuff to keep yourself occupied. I can’t emphasize that enough. When you keep yourself distracted doing things you love with your friends and family or even alone, it helps you forget about your issues and can actually be a great remedy.

Dear Devil’s Advocate,
There’s this girl in one of my classes, who I have grown to like. We became good friends and have become good friends outside of class, but I don’t know if she feels the same way about me. We have nicknames for each other, hang out all the time and speak on the phone daily and are comfortable around each other, but I fear she only sees me as a “brother” and not more. I think she may still have feelings for her ex boyfriend who she is still friends with, but she’s never mentioned him all that much to me. I have tried to show her that I like her but when it comes to telling her how I feel, I chicken out. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a nice and decent looking guy and I’ve had my fair share of girlfriends and I could find another girl if I wanted, but she has a different flair than the others. Any advice on how I can get my girl?
~Romeo in the Dumps

Dear Romeo,
Oh Romeo, Romeo, where for art thou Romeo? It’s refreshing to hear that guys do think with their heart rather than their…never mind. Anyway, girls for the most part can tell when a guy likes them, but I don’t know how obvious you are being when you say you’ve tried showing her that you like her. Maybe she interprets your attempts as friendly moves rather than flirting or anything along those lines. Your best bet is to tell her how you feel, it may change the friendship for better or worse, but you’ll only know if you take that chance. If it works out, great, but if it doesn’t then it’s up to you two to decide if the friendship is worth losing or preserving. No one likes getting their feelings hurt but in certain circumstances it’s inevitable.

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