The Independent Student Newspaper of St. John's University

The Torch

The Independent Student Newspaper of St. John's University

The Torch

The Independent Student Newspaper of St. John's University

The Torch

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Devil’s Advocate

Dear Devil’s Advocate,
My boyfriend recently became employed at a law firm and is working long hours and is going to school. He has been really stressed lately and can’t control his temper towards me and his friends. While I do understand that his job is stressful and his schoolwork adds to it, I don’t think it’s right for him to release his anger on the rest of us. How do I approach him regarding this problem?
-Stressed Girlfriend

Dear Stressed,
Objection, your honor, OBJECTION! Your boyfriend definitely needs to relax or else he’s going to end up losing you and his friends. The stress is understandable with his occupation and priorities, but if he can’t control his temper it’s only going to make his life more stressful.

However, you do need to understand that he’s going through a tough time and he’s learning to adjust to these stressors everyday. Give him time to adjust to this, but do bring his temper problem to his attention; that way he will make an effort to control his mood swings. Let him have some alone time for a good while when he isn’t occupied with school or work.

It is very possible that all he needs is time; time to adjust, adapt and incorporate these new responsibilities into his personal life.
As for you, assume the role of the understanding girlfriend and be patient. Keep him company and be there for him if he wants to talk about his day. He should eventually resume his normal attitude and turn back into the boyfriend you adore.

Dear Devil’s Advocate,
I have a friend who tends to blab everything I tell her to our mutual friends. Recently I told her a big secret that I made her promise not to tell anyone, and later that day a friend of ours approached me about the secret. This angered me and I got into a fight with her about her big mouth. Overall she is a good friend; it’s just that she can’t be trusted with certain things that are told to her. What would you suggest I do? Maintain the friendship or end it?
-Disgruntled Friend

Dear Disgruntled,
So, the chatterbox can’t keep a secret for the life of her. My suggestion is don’t tell her things that are too private, because obviously she is going to tell someone.
If you knew that she was a blabbermouth beforehand, why’d you bother telling her? You can remain friends with her if you wish but try not to tell her of any personal matters that you are not open to sharing with everyone. I urge you to speak to her about her bad habit when both of you aren’t mad at each other, and perhaps there will be a turn-around on her part.
Honesty is best in situations like these. I’m sure she wouldn’t like it either if she was in your shoes.

Dear Devil’s Advocate,
I dorm at school, but have realized that I will soon have to move out. I am having a problem finding a place to live and I can barely afford what my friends are willing to pay for rent. I am normally a big stress case, and this isn’t helping me out, especially since our opportunities for apartments are running out. What do you suggest I do?
-Homeless Dormer

Dear Homeless,
Living in a box isn’t such a bad idea, especially since they come in all shapes and sizes. Alas, the box idea may not be such a great suggestion and you need a plan B. Perhaps the school can help you find an apartment nearby that is affordable and convenient for all of you. As for your money issue, try talking to your boss about a raise and explain to your situation to him and maybe he or she will comply.

Need advice? Please send your inquiries to the Devil’s Advocate: [email protected]

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