Devil’s Advocate

Dear Devil’s Advocate,
I’ve recently started seeing this great guy who seems to be perfect. He’s sweet, funny, respectful, smart-all of the things I look for in a guy. The only thing is that our mutual friends told me something about him that was incredibly personal, and after hearing it, I feel like we’re complete strangers now because he hasn’t told me. I know it would be dumb to let him go because of this, but it keeps bothering me knowing this about him and I’d like to address this issue to him. How can I go about doing this?
-Concerned Dater

Dear Concerned,
Finding that ideal guy is rare, and you’re right, you shouldn’t let him go…unless it is something you DEFINITELY know would prevent your relationship from working out.
Even though you haven’t mentioned what this information you learned about him is, I suggest you to be sensitive when approaching him about it. You are early in your relationship and you can’t expect him to tell you everything about himself. It will take time along with trust for him to open up to you about this personal matter. Give him time, and when he’s ready he will tell you.
But if it continues to bother you, acknowledge that you must approach the situation with care. Word your questions (and your overall attitude) in a way that won’t shut off your boyfriend… be sure not to accuse him of anything he may/ may not have done. That way, if the information is false, the two of you can continue your relationship without insecurities or secrets.

Dear Devil’s Advocate,
My parents have been driving me up the wall at home and I just want to leave! To resolve my issue with them, I’m planning on renting an apartment with a few friends. I currently have one job but want a second one to help pay the bills. Where would you suggest I search for another job?

-Fed-up

Dear Fed-up,
Doesn’t it always seem that parents do nothing but nag? Well, at least from our points of view. Since we are of age, we make the decision to move out; but sometimes, that isn’t always the best idea. You seem to be confident enough that you can make it on your own outside of home since you already made your decision.
Second jobs can definitely make one’s life more stressful, but you don’t seem too worried about the consequences of having another job. Therefore, I’m assuming you have thought this all out. Check out local classifieds and employment Web sites like MonsterTrak or CareerBuilder. You could also try searching around the area for “help wanted” signs, and even keeping an ear open to see who needs an employee.
Remember, balance is what should be kept in mind for your situation. Good luck.
Dear Devil’s Advocate,
I have a friend who seems “down in the dumps” and I’ve grown concerned about her. Her grades have slipped; she doesn’t socialize with our group of friends anymore, except for me. She used to be friendly and extroverted but now she’s a completely different person. What can I do to help her out?

-Helpless Friend

Dear Helpless,
Having friends who seem blue and may be dealing with depression can be a double-edged sword. While it’s good to see that you are there for her in her time of need, being there all the time for your friend can make you feel the same way she does. Try consoling her and suggest that she speaks to a therapist or a counselor at school that she feels comfortable with. It could possibly guide her in a better direction. Being her friend can only do so much. The rest is up to her if she wants to help herself.

Need advice? Please send your inquiries to the Devil’s Advocate: torchfeatures[email protected]