Dear Devil’s Advocate,
Upon entering college I had a great girlfriend who I had been with for three years. I didn’t expect to ever find anyone that would make me want to leave her, but I did. I haven’t broken up with my girlfriend, who goes to another school back home, but I’ve been seeing this other girl a lot. Things are getting really serious, and I haven’t told either about the other. I feel really badly, but I’m so confused and I don’t want to lose a sure thing. I also don’t want to miss something that could be even better.
Sincerely,
Confused
Dear Confused,
My suggestion for you: run to the nearest pet store, buy yourself a box of Milk Bones, and have at it. You’ve been with a girl for the past three years of your life and you go away and do the one thing she was probably scared to death you’d do: cheat on her. It’s one thing when a guy’s just a cheater; it’s another when he has actual feelings for the girl he’s cheating with. It’s even more heartbreaking when feelings are involved, because it lets your girlfriend know you’ve actually formed an emotional connection with the “mistress.” Chances are, this girl on the side is thinking things are serious too and when she finds out you aren’t available and you’ve made her “that girl,” she’s going to regret the day she met you. You aren’t being fair to anyone, including yourself. You need to man up and be honest to both girls to figure out what you want. Continuing this charade is only going to confuse you further, as I’m sure you are interested in both girls for different reasons. Hate to burst your bubble though, bud, but neither one of them will probably stick around once they find out about each other.
Dear Devil’s Advocate,
Thanksgiving is fast approaching and I do not get along with a part of my extended family. I had a huge blowout fight with a cousin a year ago and haven’t spoken to any of them since. My family has every intention of getting everyone together for the holiday and I feel so betrayed!
I know my father wants to see his brother but I get so upset being anywhere near any of them. Maybe I’m being irrational, but a lot has happened and I’m just not sure I can deal.
Sincerely,
Family Feud
Dear Family Feud,
Since I don’t know exactly what was done to you I can’t say whether or not you are being completely irrational, but I can say one thing: you’ve only got one family and you don’t want to burn your bridges over something that most likely isn’t a big deal anymore. You say it’s been a year now, and time really should heal all wounds. I’m sure it’s going to be an awkward situation for everyone involved and chances are, you aren’t the only one having anxiety. The fact is, dad and his brother are brothers, and they were way before the thought of you even came along, so whether or not you like your cousin, no one has the right to come between any brotherly bond. I suggest you swallow your pride and try to look past what may have happened, even if it’s just for the sake of your dad. Sure, it might be a bit of a difficult day with some less than pleasant moments, but maybe it’s just what you need to smooth things over with your cuz. If not, hey, it’s Thanksgiving! Enjoy the food and then get the Hell out of there!
Dear Devil’s Advocate,
I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over seven months now. I thought everything was going great until suddenly, one by one, my friends started ditching me. They don’t invite me out anymore, they don’t call me, I don’t even get IMs from them anymore. I’ve tried to reach out but they all just say they’ve been busy and not to let it get to me, but it really does. I can tell they all still go out together – they just leave me out of it. It’s really been hurting me. By having a boyfriend, I shouldn’t have to lose my friends. I didn’t think I was going to have to choose!
From,
Taken and Alone
Dear Taken,
I think most people can empathize with your situation. While we don’t want to admit it, we’re not all the greatest friends. Maybe you’re friends are just seriously mean, or maybe when you started going out with Mr. Wonderful you stopped calling them. It’s easy to get caught up in a love affair and forget the people that were there with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s when the last one ended. The point is, you don’t have to choose, nor should you. I suggest you really talk to your friends tell them how much this is totally bugging you and keeping you from enjoying this great new part of your life. In with the new out with the old does NOT apply to friendships. I could be wrong though, maybe they just want to go out and check out the cute boys and they know you’re just not in that vibe right now, but it’s best to ask them what’s up before you let it really get to you. If they’re truly your friends they’ll understand, and maybe it’s time you made some plans for all of you. After all, Grey’s is back for Season 4, and Ben and Jerry’s does not have to be there for only the bad times. I’m thinking a Girl’s Night is in order.
