The Independent Student Newspaper of St. John's University

The Torch

The Independent Student Newspaper of St. John's University

The Torch

The Independent Student Newspaper of St. John's University

The Torch

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Torch Design / Megan Chapman
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Devil’s Advocate

Dear Devil’s Advocate,

I’m going to get right to the point. There is this girl I like, but she doesn’t even know who I am. I sit next to her in one of my classes, but I never know how to start a conversation. She is so smart and beautiful, but every time I try to talk to her, I think to myself, “Why would someone so amazing want to talk to you?” And then I just stare at my books.
I think about her all the time. Seriously, all the time! She’s on my mind when I eat, sleep, and work. I hardly even know her, but I know she is the only girl for me. Please help me!

Signed,
Loser in Love

Dear Lovely Loser,

You are suffering from two problems. The first is a lack of confidence. You want to know what women like most in guys? I’ll give you a hint: it’s not money, looks, or being in a band (although these certainly can help). It’s confidence in yourself. If you don’t have confidence in yourself, then how can expect anyone to have confidence in you? When you are about to talk to a girl, you should be thinking to yourself, “I am doing this girl a favor by talking to her,” and you should BELIEVE it. Not only that, it should be true. Be careful not to go overboard, though. Arrogance is not attractive.
Secondly, you suffer from a disease I like to call “one-itus.” One-itus occurs when you think that there is only one girl out there for you and you concentrate all your efforts on getting to know that one girl. You are young. It’s not like you are going to marry this girl. You are more likely to scare her off if you try too hard anyway. It is perfectly fine for you to talk to, go out to the movies with, and even be romantic with more than one girl as long as you don’t have them believing in false pretenses. Don’t tell a girl that you love her and that she is your only one unless it’s true. When you get serious with one girl, back off on the rest. Think about it. Now, all your eggs are not in one basket and also, because you are interacting with more girls, you will gain more confidence.

Dear Devil’s Advocate,

I am a sophomore and I haven’t declared a major yet. I have no idea what kind of job I want when I am older. I am a pretty well-rounded student. Everyday I change my mind. Yesterday, I was a physics major. Today, I am a sports management major. Tomorrow, I will be a history major. I just can’t decide. The only thing I do know is that I don’t want to be stuck behind a desk in an office for the rest of my life. I don’t want to be one of those boring, depressed, corporate drones. I want to be happy and successful. I want to love what I do and do what I love.

Confusedly yours,
The Majorless Man
Dear Majorless,

Congratulations! You have realized something that few people ever do. Happiness is the important thing in life. People often lose sight of this fact because they are blinded by money, power, and prestige. However, you still have a lot of work to do. But, fear not! Time is on your side!
It’s not uncommon for people in your situation not to have a major yet. Most people change their majors several times anyway. Well-rounded students, such as yourself, have it the worst because they are good at everything. The key is to find what you like most in life. Make a list of what you like to do and find jobs that let you do those things.
Many times, the importance of choosing a major is overstressed. In most cases, the important thing is that you get a degree, not which degree you get. A lot of people get jobs that have absolutely nothing to do with their major.
Anyway, I’d like to get back to the more important part of your question: being happy. People will constantly tell you that you won’t be able to do it. If let that kind of attitude get to you, you will never be happy or do what you love as a job. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. As long as you never listen to that type of person, you will find what truly makes you happy and eventually succeed with your goals.

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