The Independent Student Newspaper of St. John's University

The Torch

The Independent Student Newspaper of St. John's University

The Torch

The Independent Student Newspaper of St. John's University

The Torch

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Kristen Stewart plays Lou in Love Lies Bleeding. 
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Devil’s Advocate

Dear Devil’s Advocate,

So, my roommate is going out with this guy and for a while it was cool. But now it seems like every day she is coming to me and complaining about something he did wrong.

She’s always getting upset over the littlest things he does and I don’t like it. She wants me to be on her “side.” The thing is, I’ve always liked this guy. I mean, before she went out with him,
I kinda had a thing for him. Part of me wants to tell her to break up with him, but I also don’t want to hurt him. And even if they do break up, it would be weird if I got together with him. I don’t know what to do.

Help me,

Uncertain Ubah

Dear Ubah,

That’s a sticky situation you are in there. Talk about a love triangle! Here’s what you could do:

First, pretend to be on your roommate’s side and listen to everything she says, or at least pretend to listen. Throw in a few gasps and shocked faces and say, “That’s horrible!” a couple of times.

While this is happening, you should talk to the guy and become friendly with him. Maybe even talk to him about his failing relationship.

However, definitely do not let your roommate know that you are “fraternizing with the enemy.” That will make the whole plan backfire.

After they break up you will be there to pick up the pieces. Of course, you will have to wait at least two weeks before you make it public that you are with this guy.

Oh, and your roommate will hate you forever and the rest of your friends will ostracize you for stealing her boyfriend.

Then you will have an awkward and weird relationship for a month, or two months if you are really lucky, and you will break up with the guy because “it just doesn’t feel right.” This will leave you friendless and lonely.

You could do all of that. Or, you could do the sensible thing and tell your roommate that you don’t feel comfortable with the situation she is putting you in because you don’t want to take sides.

Sincerely,

Devil’s Advocate

Dear Devil’s Advocate,

I hate October. I hate it because baseball playoffs are on and that’s all my boyfriend cares about. Seriously, I am pretty sure he loves baseball more than me. He never pays attention to me around this time of year.

All he does is watch his beloved Boston Red Sox! He isn’t even from Boston! I hate baseball!

It’s so boring. I don’t even know how he can watch it. Every time a game is on, it is impossible for me to talk to him.
You have to help me fix this! Get me my boyfriend back!

Sincerely,

Boyfriend-less Bianca
Dear Bianca,

I hate October, too! I hate it because it starts to get cold around this time of year and I hate the cold, but you know what? There’s nothing I can do about it! (Except, drive around in a Hummer every day…)

So, why try to change it? You are just going to be disappointed when you fail miserably.

I know that’s not what you want to hear, so I am going to give you some advice on how to deal with the fact that your boyfriend will be missing for up to another month.

First, you could try getting into the game. It’s not that bad of a game and you could make it fun! Try rooting against his team. Or, make a bet with him that if the Red Sox lose, then he has to wear an A-Rod jersey for Halloween.

Or, you could always change the channel right at a crucial moment in the game and watch his reaction. That’s always fun!
Second, if you really can’t get into baseball, then use this as a bargaining tool.

Tell him that you will let him watch the games in peace, but as soon as November hits, he is taking you out to chick flicks every weekend AND buying you popcorn.

You could also up the stakes a little and see if you could get some jewelry out of the deal. Who knows? You may come to love October!

Lastly, you could get a second boyfriend for a month. Think about it: If he is too engrossed with his baseball to notice you, then there’s no way that he would notice you hanging around another guy. Just be careful not to let him know!

Sincerely,

Devil’s Advocate

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