The Independent Student Newspaper of St. John's University

The Torch

The Independent Student Newspaper of St. John's University

The Torch

The Independent Student Newspaper of St. John's University

The Torch

Devil’s Advocate

Dear Devil’s Advocate,

About two years ago, one of my really good friends and I stopped talking to one another. We had been close for a long time, but she decided that she didn’t want me as a friend anymore. It was upsetting at first, but I moved on. Now, after all this time, she’s trying to contact me. She’s apologizing and saying she was wrong about some things and thinks that we should “talk this out.”

After two years though, I don’t think I really care enough to talk about anything with her. Do you think I should have this talk with her or just ignore her completely?

— Two years is a long time


Dear Two years,

Wow, your friend sounds a little crazy. I mean, this would all make sense

if she wanted to “talk things out” two weeks after whatever fight you had, but two years is pushing it a bit.

A part of you might feel swayed to talk to your old friend again. I mean, I’m sure you guys had your good times and it probably seems easier to just talk to her than completely ignore her. However, I feel like the ignoring option is definitely a solid plan.

What good do you actually expect to come out of this? It doesn’t seem as though you’re still harboring resentment towards this girl, so I doubt you’d take this as an opportunity to scream at her. What’s likely to happen is that she’s going to bring up past situations that are extremely unimportant after all this time and the whole thing is just going to get on your nerves.

It’s a sad thing when friendships end, but sometimes you just can’t help but bury the past. And it should usually remain buried. Unless you run over a guy with your car because burying that kind of past didn’t seem to work out so well for those kids in that mediocre horror movie.


Dear Devil’s Advocate,

I’ve been seeing this guy for about three months and things seem to be going great. We have a lot in common and we always have fun when we’re together. The only thing is that he seems to be avoiding having me meet his friends. I know for a fact that he has a pretty tight group of guy friends and I don’t expect to hang out with them all the time or anything, but I would have thought that I’d have met them at least once or twice by now. Do you think he’s keeping me from them for a reason? What should I do?

–Hidden girlfriend


Dear Hidden,

Yeah, that’s rough. It’s pretty difficult to decipher boy behavior. There could be 100 reasons why you haven’t met your guy’s friends yet and 99 of them could be completely harmless. But there’s always that chance that he could be doing it for the one reason that isn’t completely harmless. And that’s probably eating away at you right now. I don’t blame you. I’d probably fixate on this until I went insane also.

The only way you’re ever going to find out is to just confront the situation head on. Tell your guy that you want to go out with his friends one night.

If this was truly just a case of him being a normal guy and simply not thinking of it yet, then he’ll be glad to arrange something.

I bet he’ll even been excited that you want to meet his friends.

On the other hand, if you ask him about this and he deliberately avoids your attempt to plan something, your question will definitely be answered and you can go off on him as much as you’d like.

While it does seem a little shady that you haven’t met even one of his friends yet, I’m still willing to give your guy the benefit of the doubt. Well, of course I am. He’s not my guy. If he were, I’m sure it’d be an entirely different story.

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